So Far So Good

-Posted by Isaac

How's that resolution coming?

Not so well? Well maybe you need to feed it! This awesome display greets you as you walk in the Whole Foods entrance at Easton. Lemons and honey? Strange sales pitch, but I think it has something to do with detoxing into the New Year. Maybe?? Whatever they're pitching, it's obvious that Whole Foods has the same resolution as us-- to sell as much local honey as possible.

Well, I'm now full swing into my winter resolution of perfect beekeeping. And so far, so good. We're at a whopping 0% loss, having now popped over 500 lids.

Not joking! Zero dead hives! (But I am joking about 0% loss being a resolution. That's about as likely as the NFL calling.)

This week I made it around to most of the yards. Checking up, feeding when needed. Most hives look like the above picture. No bees visible, a nibbled patty, all quiet, and all is well.

A few are hungry monsters.

And some are in between. Needing fed on top, but still plenty of honey on the sides. 

Most of these in-betweeners were still pretty heavy, having several inches of honey between the cluster and the sugar patty. Why the bees are sitting so high, I don't know. Considering the frigid temps.

But then, bees laugh at cold. Maybe wind and draftiness and moisture will get them, but cold, that's nothing. Even single digits. Just think about it. Wouldn't you stay warm if you had 10,000 bodies crammed around you?

I love bee work in the winter. (Especially with no dead-outs!) It's calm, it's quiet, it's relaxing. You just take your time, you enjoy the stillness. You may even recite some Robert Frost, if you know any. Hehe. Whose woods these are I think I know...

And the work is quick. All you're really doing is checking up. Popping a lid, maybe throwing a patty on. You can cover hundreds of hives in a day. Especially with your weekend help.

Of course sometimes there are interruptions. Every job entails some form of unwanted interference. Even beekeeping. Here we have a freeloader.

Maybe it's my E.O.G. flaring up again, but this generation really makes my blood boil! When I see the nonchalance of these entitled slackers coming right up and and asking for a handout, like sugar patties grow on trees...

This is what's wrong with the country!

What a bum!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

-Posted by Isaac

Happy New Year folks! I hope your 2017 is the best of times and only the best.

Thinking about this past year, 2016 shines out as the very best bee year we've ever had. I'm sure we had some hard moments in there, some stumbling blocks, but my reminiscing is often very selective. Remember that awesome summer! Remember all that honey!

A reflective optimist I am. But also a prophetic pessimist.  I mean, things are bound to get worse, right? The good old days are long gone, right? Jayne and I were watching Portlandia last week. We learned that there is actually a term for my dark-viewed infirmity. It's called E.O.G.

Early Onset Grumpiness. At least Jayne thinks that I have this condition. And in truth, I have been called a pessimist once or twice. But speaking for myself, I contend that I'm simply a realist. Not dark, not a grumpy young pessimist... just real. 

It's almost embarrassing. To be human. You know what I mean?

I think about how bright, how optimistic we began our 2016. We  all have our New Year's resolutions. This year Mason and I had a goal. We had a dream. Using my cousin's home gym, we stuck to the plan.

Beekeepers need to stay ripped too!

But then at some point, cold reality set in. We realized that the NFL is never going to call. Not in 2016. Not in 2017. Not ever.

Maybe I can still play for the Browns.

Not a pessimist. Just a realist.

Let me try to illustrate this concept with some pictures from this week. And if I have lost you in negativity and realism, I apologize. Please understand that it's just the disease talking. My E.O.G.

Around the holidays we like to show off our fancy, expensive, high performance vehicles. We wear the latest fashions. We colonize our fine homes.

But we wreck the joint.

And that goes for our environment also. We wreck the joint. I swear, you people think that Mother Nature is your personal joy ride.

But she's bigger than us! And she'll buck you off if you don't watch out.

The temperature is heading up! The seas are a'gonna rise! Quit with your denials. Your delusions. Do you people think this is a Disney movie!? La la..Life is much better, down where it's wetter. La la la...

Is that what you think?? Huh??? Well I've got news for you.

That's not a Dory fish, son. That's a shark.

Let's see. We've covered dashed dreams and scrapped resolutions. We've covered societal and environmental problems. How about the economy?

 It stinks!

Oh sure, our economy is just fine. Our bees are buzzing and booming. 

But when you step back and look at the big picture, the economy as a whole... we're in the pisser!

And it stinks!

Not a pessimist. Just a realist.

Did you think you were simply going to skate into some bright cheery 2017? Believe you're gliding down the highway...

...when in fact you're Slip Sliding Away.

I hate to burst your bubble. I mean someone's got to settle you optimists down. Show you some truth. I simply refuse to don your rose colored glasses.

Or are they beer goggles? All I know is, you happy happy happies turn me into a Groucho.

But on a brighter note, I can say this. At least one respectable thing happened in 2016. Some of you got smart and finally put a competent leader in office. A miracle almost. And he's going to fix everything!

(A clip from my favorite movie. Not for children's ears!)

 A 2016 Idiocracy sendoff! See, in order to find some decent leaders, all it takes is the realistic threat of impending doom.

 Happy New Year! 2017 is going to be awesome.

I give you my word.

Happy Merry Holidays

-Posted by Isaac

Merry Christmas everyone! Or Happy Holidays! Whichever you prefer. I'm so in the dark about the PC nuances and land mines. (Watch out! Oh, don't say that!) Last year, in my innocent stupidity at a farmers market, I wished about ten people "Merry Christmas!" before realizing that almost everyone was responding with "Happy holidays to you!"

This was in Worthington, where I guess you would expect people to be up on the proper Christmas well-wishing. I have since paid more attention to the supposed war on Christmas. You can learn so much from Facebook and talk radio! Haha. Kidding. Looking, listening, speaking, thinking, and looking around some more, I have come to my own conclusion: there is no war on Christmas. Some people are just overly sensitive, but we already knew that. Say whatever you want!

Silly talking heads, Christmas is for kids! It's a big ball of fun and stress and singing and sugar and stories and baby Jesus and gifts and entertainment and family and more stress all crammed into about a week. From my perch, I think the only people who truly enjoy Christmas are children.  

This Christmas we celebrate 13 years in the bees! Jayne gifted me with a hive kit in 2003, forever changing the trajectory of our lives. Forever ruining my aspirations of a lifelong career in "Ski Bum."

We threw an office Christmas party. The staff and their families came to celebrate, but as you can see, a bunch of kids hogged all the good stuff. The punch, the cookies, the cake, the candy. 

I'm just saying... Christmas is for kids.

Kids can make fun from anything. Give them a day off of school and they'll invent it! This week our kids discovered a giant sandbox.

The next project-- We're going to build a lean-to on the west side of the honey house.  The area needed to be raised, so I ordered 80 tons of bank-run fill and spent two fun days skidding around in the Bobcat.

Although it was cold, 80 tons of sandcastle building material is hard to resist.

Eventually the sandcastles got leveled and we needed more entertainment. You have to find something to keep these kids burning all that Christmas sugar.

So we decided to go hiking. We have set a (Mason invented) goal: The Hocking Hills at least once every month. Yesterday filled the December quota.

Deep Thoughts with Isaac: With hiking, with Christmas break, with children, with projects, with life in general...

When you start, the path is uncertain. The Where's, the When's, the Why's, the Whos, the How's will answer themselves in time. A leap of faith is often necessary.

You are sure going to hit some stumbling blocks along the way. Things will get tough.  

But you'll be sure find someone to help you through. (And you can almost bet that that someone is going to be a woman.)

Even when you're off and running again, even when the path is clear, you can still count on that someone to watch your back.

And you really need to get that someone a nice Christmas gift.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

The Cold and the Clock

-Posted by Isaac

Most of you know that I'm not a fan of the cold. Or Christmas. Or, to be more general, Ohio winters-- the hard nasty wet/cold that chills your bones. The stiff wind. The sleet, the ice. The short, dark days. For me, it all rolls into one big ball of pessimism. Jayne says I've changed, that I'm not the man she married. But this isn't true, I'm the same person I've always been. The difference is, we lived out west. Where winters are different. The cold is different. Out there, it's not something to complain about, it's something to relish. (Powder day! Again!)

But then there is the occasional Ohio surprise. One day this week we awoke to this:

Our first snow! And sun! And the bee work done! 

A beautiful thing.

The day before with the snow just starting, I finished winterizing the last yard...

...and then went for a trail run. Magnificent huge flakes poured silently through the trees.

On Thursday, on the clock again, it was another beautiful winter trail run.

Ok, I'm sorry about this... one unabashed selfie.

(Taken the very instant I had a bright idea.)

Under these conditions, it's impossible to be a pessimist. Even for a grinch like me. When winter sets in, sometimes you just clock out and have some fun. Deserving or not, it's quite a perk to this job. You can simply drop everything and take a run. Or take a nap.

Or grab a sled.

Or build a snowman.

You can quit early to see the lights...

Christmas through the eyes of a two year old. (Did I lose something along the way?)

...or just hang out awhile. But be careful. Don't turn your back!

In the winter, you can work so hard at having fun, it just turns into stupid.

Stupid... on the clock!

It's ok, we've got time for stupid.

But then, I'm talking about my side of things. The bee side.

Jayne and Katie are as busy as ever. The crush of Christmas has yet to let up. Orders are flying out the door. Sometimes I think I should help. Sometimes I actually try. But it's to no avail. I'm mostly just in the way. And to add to this joyous stress, they wanted to throw not one, but two open houses this year. 

The second is actually tomorrow. Come on out if you have the chance! The ladies will help you find some stocking stuffers. Or if you want to talk bees and extractors, I promised I'd hang around.

But that is yet to be seen. You may find me, and you may not. Hey, I'm a busy man!

I may just be busy with a beverage and a hot stove.

Playing with toys.

Or reading a book.

Or taking a nap.

Because it's cold outside!

And I'm on the clock.

Beezy

-Posted by Isaac

November 8th! - Time to get out Da Vote! Time to exercise your civil liberties! Show some democratic muscle! Snap out of your selfish, lazy lives and think of your country for once! It's time once again to utilize your God-given sovereign right as a (possibly legal?) US citizen!

I would highly encourage arriving at the polls early. Considering the long lines and what's at stake for our nation.

What? Huh? It's December 8th? Well I'll be damned....      Who won? Has armageddon started?

I guess it's back to our selfish lazy lives. Here on the bee farm we're transitioning into winter. About this time of year, all the landowners get their sweet reward for providing a location for our little ladies. About 40 "rent honey" trips in all. I've been going around like Santa Claus.

And every other day it seems, Santa makes a trip to the post office. The orders are piling up!

Jayne and Katie have been extremely busy. Packing and shipping-- the name of the game in December.

Both small orders...

and large....

(Well, for a honey order this large, the work falls in back my department.)

For the most part, I try to stay out of the way. And I find things to do that don't involve real work.

This week we got the bulk tank fixed to my finicky specifications- a bigger outlet valve. It was just taking too long to fill those drums.

Look out, Lucky!

And I hauled the last of about 1500 supers out to the bee yards. Last winter I tried this and it proved to be a smart move. Not only does it save on storage space, it's so convenient to have those supers right where they need to be, when they need to be there.

But that time, supering time, is a long way away. So far off in fact, it's hard to even think about spring coming around again. This week, with our first arctic blast, we welcome in Old Nasty. My least favorite of the four. Mr. Winter. It's funny how location can change your outlook. When I lived in Colorado, I loved it.

I don't know about Colorado bees, but I'm pretty sure Ohio bees hate winter as much as I do. One of the many winter-prep tasks involves putting mouse guards in. This year I elected to do a more permanent guard... one I won't have to remove in the spring.

And of course, you've got to worry about winter ventilation. Every hive gets a top spacer.

One thing I'm not worried about is winter feed. Most hives are heavy as lead bricks right now. You can see that they're all getting a sugar patty anyway. They don't need it, but I had already bought the stuff, and they'll come up on warm days and have a taste just for fun. Merry Christmas, bees!

I'm not going to wrap a single hive this winter. Am I gambling with our lovely ladies? Maybe. I'm just not convinced that it helps as much as proclaimed. I mean, I'm sure it does something... but is it worth the trouble? We will soon find out. If I'm wrong, it may well be the first time I've ever been wrong. Hahaha.

Right now they just look so warm and happy. Snug as a bug.

So we'll keep busy and you do the same. But please don't forget your civic responsibilities. Which, at this point, involves responsible complaining about whoever got elected a month ago.