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Honeyrun Farm produces pure raw, honey, handcrafted soap, and beeswax candles in Williamsport, Ohio

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The greatest post that never was

Jayne Barnes

-Posted by Isaac

Boy, did I have a good one for you this week.

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First I was going to get you laughing at that goofy picture of Bridger trying to ride a goat.

You see, we’ve been building a lot of fence lately. The idea being, maybe someday we’ll have something in here besides goats. Maybe something a little bigger to ride.

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When you’re building a fence, specifically on the most miserable few days of the year, digging postholes one after another after another all day long, there’s little to do but think. The machine was too loud to listen to podcasts. The job itself, too simple to mandate attention.. why not plan out a great blog post?

I mean, I’ve got all these thoughts hammering around.

Just look at that desolate sky, that impoverished grass.

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Remind you of anything? A famous Andrew Wyeth maybe?

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Sure, I’ve replaced Christina with a Bobcat skid steer loader, but don’t tell me that’s not art.

So the idea was to artfully connect my posthole digging horizons to my feelings about Christina’s World, then metaphorically associate those ominous thoughts with current events. (All after starting with goofy Bridger riding the goat.) I wanted to start you out laughing and then soon have you crying.

The next phase was designed to piss you off.

This week’s big current event involved the good folks of New York telling Amazon to take a hike.

Hey Bezos, take your 25,000 jobs and shove it!

Hey Bezos, take your 25,000 jobs and shove it!

Which I thought was awesome, but it sure pissed off a lot of people. And maybe I’m wrong, but I’m assuming that you’re part of that pissed off throng. I’ve talked to a few angry people this week. How dare those New Yorkers! Don’t know what’s good for them…

Am I completely alone on this? The one and only midwestern voice of dissent? Is it really ok for a company to skirt three billion dollars in taxes?? How dare those New Yorkers? How dare they what? Expect to be able to get to work??

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(No, you’re right… I don’t know the details… but I still think it’s awesome. A real non-bootlicking move.)

So I was planning to rile you by trying to be the lone voice of reason, then maybe bring you back around with some Bruce Springsteen.

…asking you to particularly pay attention to those last few lines… and maybe see the great philanthropy of Amazon in a different light.

And while I had you wavering, I was going to hit you with a favorite quote from my favorite author/farmer.

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While you chewed on all that, I was going to covertly declare myself a Bernie lover.

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And really piss you off.

Then switch it up, and say whoa, wait a minute, I’m just kidding! I’m a capitalist! Look at what I do. Besides, I would never align my doctrine with an admitted socialist. Blasphemy!

Having taken you for a ride— laughing, crying, reflective, pensive, pissed, confused, wavering, maybe illuminated…

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…but maybe just pissed again— I was going to finish it with the assurance that I’m still a true red blooded American business owner. A capitalist through and through. A good wholesome capitalist beekeeper still on the home team to the very last drop of honey.

Most likely you’d still be pissed. And that’s why I decided against it. A blog post like that is not only dangerous, it’s hard work. Not to mention, way over the head of a beekeeper.

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Jayne thought my little nap was Instagram worthy. (Little did she know, I fell asleep planning the greatest blog post ever.)

But alas, I awoke, and came to my senses— You, the good, honest, hard working, (and highly intelligent) folks who read this are looking for kids riding goats. Stick with kids riding goats, dummy! It was a good start to a post that would’ve turned into a train wreck.

And oh yeah, bees. Stick with bees!

Thankfully, before I could lay all this on you, Peggy Garnes saved me by sharing a bee article.

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I was fortunate enough to hear Bret Adee speak last October. What a great great man… who has been put through the meat grinder.

It’s a short and depressing article if you choose to read it. And here, why not another song? You know, to set the mood for reading…

It could have been the greatest post ever. Or, more likely, it could’ve been a jumbled pile of spaghetti. Lucky for you, I’ll just leave you with some unnerving bee world thoughts. And more questions—

What are those wolves? Who are those wolves? Varroa mites? Farm chemicals? Corporations? Governments? The whole system?

How about another quote from the great one…

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And another question— Are we living in Christina’s World?

There's just no substitute for the real thing

Jayne Barnes

-Posted by Isaac

It’s official.

I’m declaring a National Emergency. (For Pickaway County.)

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When you’re in central Ohio and you have to wait for low tide to cross the road… I think I’m well within my rights in calling for a National Emergency.

Can you believe this load of crap?! Relentless! The fields have become lakes, and just getting to the bees has become somewhat of a sport.

Eden and I were out feeding the girls yesterday. Here she points out the result of trying to make it to the yards after three inches of rain:

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Fun!

So how was your Valentine’s Day? Assuming you didn’t drown, I’m guessing that it was the usual— a lot of show, a lot of pomp and circumstance, a lot of expense… hmmm… was it even worth it? Did you even get lucky??

Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

But I’d like to show how you may just better your odds in the future. In this post I’m going to teach you some cheap and easy, sensible, practical, surefire tricks to impress your significant other. And not only that, you’ll learn how to turn some kitchen problems into delightful (and romantic) solutions.

First problem, Dan the Baker.

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As you know, Dan makes some wonderful bread. But as you may also know, if you leave it on the table overnight (which we’ve been known to do), you end up with some really hard crust.

Not a problem… the kids will find it the next morning and have their way with it.

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The soft middle is oh, so delicious!

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This leaves you with a hollowed out loaf which you can then cut into strips and bag up for later.

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Another common kitchen problem, especially in the winter: granulated honey.

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Raw honey granulates fastest at 54 F. With all the temperature swings this time of year, we often see our honey turn cloudy. Again, not a problem. You probably already know, if you want it to turn back into a clear liquid, simply heat it up.

But here’s another route. The romantic route. Granulated honey makes an excellent dipping sauce.

First, put those kids to bed.

Then pop those sliced Dan the Baker “bread sticks” in the toaster. Arrange them aesthetically on your finest serving platter.

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Then take that cloudy, perfect and wonderful raw honey and create some culinary art. One glass is probably enough, but you never know. If things are going well, (wink, wink) you may need a second.

Lastly, and this cannot be overstated, you need to set the mood. Dress to impress. And find something he or she will really love. A good book, a choice Netflix, a favorite band. Something that says, This is you and me babe. This is us… and there’s just no substitute for the real thing!

You’ve pushed all the right buttons tonight, big boy. Good luck.

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